Thursday, 22 March 2012

Diets To Improve Your Erictions And Sex Power





Sexual Weekness can easily treat by foods and diets .If your stomach become week and u could not be able to   digest your food then this will also reduce your sex power.However the diet with good minerals and vitamins is the best way for good erictions.Here are some foods which are good for sex power and erictions.


1) Take two spoon of honey and mix with one glass of  goat or cow milk is the best thing for erictions.
2)Drink camel milk for 40 days continously without any delay is helpful in impotency and make erictions,but during this period dont do any type of intercourse or masturbation.
3)Take one pomengrate,little amount of jinger,one onion,one carrot and extract its juice in with the help of juicer machine.This is a great remedy for sex power.
4)Take five to ten  dates and make its shake in milk.Take it before two hours of intercourse time.It is the gr8 remedy to increase sex duration and power.
5)Take one  Indigenous egg (desi anda) and  cut half  white onion and make its omlette in olive oil with three teaspoon or more .Fry too much until omlette gets red .Eat every day to increase sex power.
5)Cheese and butter are also the best source of increasing sex power.
6)One egg should be mix with one glass of 250 ml milk (goat milk is better).It can cure sexual debility rapidly.
6)Carrots and onions are most effective for sexual power.it can increase the amount of semen.
7)The milk of goat is also helpful in sexual weakness.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Best Homeopathic Medicines For Erection Problems (For English Readers)

Homeopathic Medicines For The Treatment Of  Impotecny ,Sexual Weakness And Premature Ejaculation 


1) Sabal serrulata – Saw palmetto

This homeopathic remedy is mostly used to treat the enlargement of the prostate and very famous in Europe. But did you know it also has another very interesting function? It can help with the lack of sexual power or desire. If you do feel sexually aroused but cannot get an erection Sabal serrulata might be a good Homeopathic remedy to try.


2)Baryta Carbonica
 
Very effective for helping with  impotence . Helps achieve sexual desire for men that lack it and is also known to relieve soreness between the scrotum and thighs. Also has benefits for the prostate by diminishing the frequent need to urinate.



3)Ashwagandha
 
Has been used for hundreds of years, even by native Americans which use to treat fevers and inflammations with it, but it’s overall main function is to improve memory and the immune system. It has also been found to be a great way to restore the libido and help increase male infertility. It is used mainly in Asia as a male sexuality tea or drink.



4) Other Medicines :

                          However the above medicines cannot obtain in many countries and these medicines are available for online purchase.Some other medicines which are helpful in Premature Ejaculation,Sexual Debility,Gonorrhea etc are as follows.But  the  majority  of  Premature Ejaculation Problem can not be  solved by  Homeo  and and the few  improvements  results  appear  in  only 10 to 15  perecent of  male that's  why  many people would prefer  herbal  remedies for   P.E .

a) The Composition of Calc phos 6x ( Calcarea Phosphorica) ,Kali phos 3x (kali Phosphoricum),Natrum Muriaticum 6x can be use for P.E ,Sexual debility and Gonorrhea as well.

b) Phosphoric Acid Q (Phosphoricum Acidum) is also helpful in sexual debility.As you know that the fish also contain phosphoric acid ,so the fish is a great source of sex power.

c) Acidum phosphoricum  3x is also used to cure Night fall  problem..


Where can I buy these Homeopathic remedies?


                            Homeopathic  Stores  are  available in every countries , so you  can buy any homeopathic medicines  near your  area,but if  you  are not able to find any homeo  store  or  these  types of  medicines  then  go for  abchomeopathy.com  to buy online.





Friday, 16 March 2012

Juryan,Ehtelam,Sarat-e-inzaal aur Quwat e Bah kay liye eik dawa


Note :If you can't  see this urdu font ,then use google chrome or internet explorer browser.


قوت مردی کیلئے ایک جامع النفع دوا (تریاق صفت گولیاں) ایسی 
ادویات جو بیک وقت جریان‘ احتلام‘ سرعت اور رقت منی سے لے کر ضعف باہ اور کامل نامردی تک کیلئے مفید ثابت ہوں‘ بہت ہی کم ہیں ان میں سے اگر کوئی دوا جریان اور احتلام کیلئے مفید ثابت ہو تو وہ ضعف باہ پیدا کردیتی ہے اور خواہش جماع کو کم کردیتی ہے اور اگر کوئی محرک باہ ہے تو وہ جریان احتلام میں اضافہ کا باعث بنتی ہے مگر بفضلہ تعالیٰ یہ دوا بیک وقت جنسی قوت کیلئے مفید ہے اگرچہ فائدہ کی رفتار ذرا دھیمی ہے مگر ہر قسم کے نقصان سے پاک‘ اگرچہ بنانے میں دیر طلب اور دقت طلب ہے۔ اس نسخہ کو آپ ایک لمبی مدت استعمال کریں فوائد دیکھ کر خوش ہونگے۔
ھوالشافی: درخت پیپل کا پختہ پھل ایک سیر‘ درخت برگد کا پھل ایک سیر‘ درخت پیپل کی ڈاڑھی ایک سیر‘ درخت برگد کی ڈاڑھی ایک سیر‘ اگر پیپل کی ڈاڑھی نہ مل سکے تو کونپل بجائے ایک سیر کے دو سیر۔ درخت پیپل کی سرخ سرخ کونپلیں ایک سیر‘ درخت برگد کی تازہ اور سرخ سرخ ایک سیر صاف پانی چشمہ یا نہر کا 8 سیر مٹی کے گھڑے میں تین چار روز بھگو رکھیں۔ چار روز کے بعد قلعی دار برتن میں ڈال کر یا نہ ملنے کی وجہ سے صاف کی ہوئی لوہے کی کڑاہی میں نرم نرم آگ پر اس حد تک پکائیں کہ آدھا پانی جل کر آدھا باقی رہ جائے۔ اس وقت اتار لیں اور ٹھنڈا ہونے پر ہاتھوں سے خوب اچھی طرح مل کر کپڑے میں چھان لیں اور پھر اس پانی کو بہت ہی نرم آگ پر پکائیں جب پانی شربت کی طرح گاڑھا ہوجائے تو اس وقت اتار کر کسی سلور (ایلومینیم) وغیرہ کے برتن میں ڈالیں اور پھر اس کو ایک برتن میں پانی ڈال کر اس کے منہ پر رکھیں اور پانی بھرے برتن کے نیچے آگ جلائیں تاکہ یہ دوا پانی کی بھاپ پر پکے اور پکتے پکتے افیون کی طرح گاڑھی ہوجائے اس وقت اس کو اتار لیں اور ٹھنڈا کریں اگر ٹھنڈا ہونے کے بعد گولیاں بننے کے لائق ہوجائے تو بہتر ورنہ پھر دھوپ میں چند روز رکھ کر خشک کرلیں اور پھر رتی رتی برابر گولیاں بنالیں بس دوائے مطلوب بفضلہ تعالیٰ تیار ہے۔
ترکیب استعمال: دو گولی سے تین گولی ہمراہ تازہ دودھ یا گرم کرکے سرد کیا ہوا دودھ پاو بھر صبح و شام۔
فوائد: جریان‘ احتلام‘ منی کا پتلا پن‘ جلد انزال ہوجانا‘ عضو میں پوری سختی نہ آنا‘ وقت پر دل دھڑکنا‘ نامردی سب کیلئے مفید ہے

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Sex Tips





1.Sex isn't a Race
Sex isn't a race, so take time to explore her. Focus on her thighs and lower belly. Make a mental circle 2 inches around the outside of her vagina and don't cross the line while you kiss, lick, and caress.

2.Give Her Plenty of Time
If you want morning sex, set your alarm at least 20 minutes early. A woman won't want sex if she's hurried, and she'll probably need about 20 minutes to reach orgasm.

3.Grunts are Better Than Nothing
She'll give longer and more enthusiastic oral sex if you give her a verbal response. Even appreciative grunts are better than silence.

4.Vary the Stimulation
When you're all the way inside her, add side-to-side movement or up-and-down pelvic pressure against her clitoris to vary the stimulation.

5.Make a Fantasy Lottery
Both you and your lady write five sexual fantasies down on five separate notebook cards. Then head to a restaurant where you can get a booth and some privacy in a public setting. Over dinner and wine, pull out the cards and make three piles—"yes," "maybe someday," and "not on your life." Put the possibles in a shoe box, and once a month pull out a winner.

6.Mimic Her Style
Ask her to kiss your earlobe with the same pressure she prefers during oral, then cop her style next time you're south of the border.

7.Exercise Together
Work out together. Think of it as fat-burning foreplay. It will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties. Bonus: Your post-run sweat has androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that spikes her arousal when she smells it.

8.Ignore Bombshells
Remain calm when a decked-out bombshell strolls by and you'll be sending the message that you're too smart to be wowed by a Wonderbra and red lipstick.

9.Give Her the Perfect Compliment
The best compliments are the ones that involve multiple senses. "You have beautiful breasts" is nice. "You have beautiful breasts—they feel so soft and warm in my hands" is that much more intimate.

10.Don't Give in to Temptation
If a woman who knows you're spoken for comes on to you, it's flattering. It's tempting. But remember that she's doing it to feed her own ego, not yours. She wants to see how much power she holds over you. And if you take her bait, she then knows she must be superior in every way to your sweetie. Deep down, she has nothing but contempt for both your male weakness and your mate's existence. That should really piss you off.Find Her G-

11.Spot
Use your thumb to press on her G-spot, as if you were making a thumbprint on her vaginal wall. You're shooting for the area about 2 inches inside the vaginal opening, on the front side.

12.Use Your Tongue Wisely
When kissing, don't use your tongue like a dart (in and out, in and out). Instead, try varying motions and amounts of pressure.

13.Doggy-Style the Right Way
Doggy-style tip: For over-the-top stimulation of her most nerve-packed parts, keep thrusting short and shallow, rather than deep and fast.

14.Tell Her What She Wants to Hear
Words she loves to hear: "I want to make you feel good."

Hang Out with Your Married Pals
Looking for The One? Don't abandon your spoken-for friends. A guy with a wife or live-in girlfriend has an expanded social circle—meaning he knows more women (that he could potentially introduce you to) than he did when he was single.

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Best Home Made Medicine For Male Impotency And Sexual Debility


A drug for male power (treacle description pills) such that simultaneously gonorrhea medicine 'wet' quickly, visually, from wing to impotence and perfect to be useful, very few if any of these medicines are useful for gonorrhea and nightfall, it has created to be visually and can reduce sexual desire and emotions, but it causes an increase in sexual medicine at the same time is useful to force the pace a bit dim, but the advantage free from any damage, although for a while and make it pretty challenging. this recipe you will be happy to see the benefits of a long-term use...


A pound of oak trees mature fruit, the fruit of a banyan tree, a picnic, a jog fungus of oak trees, banyan trees and a tour of the beard, Red oak tree red kunplyn a trip, banyan trees and the fresh spring water or river cruises red a 8 red clay pots, three or four day trip to take steeper. four days into the tin pot holder or a lack of clearSteam on the water is hard and thick, like opium pkty pkty then take it off and if it gets cold after cold pills or better be worth if they're dry in the sun a few days and then every little bit pills Make enough of the medicine.Device: two shots with three shots from fresh milk or milk served hot and cold air throughout the morning and evening.Advantages: gonorrhea, an 'thin pin sperm' Lack ejaculate quickly, in part or whole strictly come 'heart beats in time, all impotence .

Friday, 9 March 2012

Penis Problems,Penis Weakness,Soft Eriction





Now i want to discuss about some of the penis problems  like  weak  erection  or  penis length  which is little serious but many peoples specially in countries like India and Pakistan have misconceptions about penis size.Upto 5 inch of penis is enough to satisfying the women.It depends on the women,if she watches porn movies then u can't satisfy  ur women because ,in the pornographic films the penis size increased artificially and when the women see it ,she thinks that all is real thing.So the watching of pornographic movies for women is also harmful due to its negative psychological effects.Well the hardness of the penis is little problem ,but when we make intercourse the penis will become hardens automatically.However if the penis gets not much harder ,even if u get full erections ,then this problem can  solve by doing  some  steps.Contrary to it,weakness of penis and  weak erection also  links to low libido or nitric oxide levels.however there are many  herbal and ayurvedic medicines available to  balance the nitric oxide levels naturally, some medicines are also popular for  penis enlargement but  penis size  cannot be increased more than 2   inches more.

1 . Nine teaspoon of olive oil,two teaspoon oil of  nigella seeds (kalonji oil),7 teaspoon of  fish oil.Use it daily for the massage of penis and take care about massage with slowly and carefully for only five minutes. 

2. Regular Mustard Oil (sarsu) massage is also better for penis health and make penis hardens.

3 .Three to five drops of mustard oil should be mix with one teaspoon of sesame oil (til ka tail)  and massage regularly clockwise and anticlocwise.It helps in premature ejaculation problems and make penis strong.

4 . Take  one  indigenous   egg  ( desi egg)  . Mix  half  teaspoon  of   black  seeds (kalonji)      and  take  it  in  the  morning   before  any  meal .This  is  the  best  food   to  make penis  stronger and  hardens.     


Soft And Weak Penis , How To Make a Penis Harder ,And Get  Stronger Erections:

                   
Nitric oxide is the natural compound which is crucial for a stronger erection in fact; it's needed to get an erection in the first place! If you don't have enough of it, you won't get one. Increasing your nitric oxide levels, is one of the keys to peak sexual wellness. 

So what does nitric oxide do exactly? 

When you are sexually stimulated messages are transmitted to the nerve endings in the blood vessels which feed the penis with blood and nitric oxide is secreted ion the walls. When this occurs, the blood vessels start to relax, then they expand and an increased flood of blood enters and pools in the penis. 

The end result is of course an erection. 

It's simply the key to a stronger erection and you need it. Problem is as we age nitric oxide levels decline and this can result in erection problems. 

So How Do You get it naturally? 

There are several natural sources which you can use and let's start with one of the best. 


L'arginine


Is produced naturally in the body and is a non essential amino acid and is known as natural Viagra 

It has a key role in producing nitric oxide and also declines with age. 

You can get it as a supplement and it works. 

In a controlled test, over 80% of men who had erection problems before supplementation, reported better, stronger, harder erections, as well as more desire and more satisfying sex, after just 2 weeks of supplementation. 

L' arginine is an essential natural cure for erection problems and you can combine it with some other herbs for even greater effect. 

Cordyceps :

Cordyceps is a fungus that lives on certain caterpillars in the high mountain regions of China. Supplement makers are able to get enough of the product to sell because cordyceps will reproduce in the laboratory.

Cordyceps  is used to treat for  major  disease  like  coughs, chronic bronchitis, respiratory disorders, kidney disorders, nighttime urination, male sexual problems, anemia, irregular heartbeat, high cholesterol, liver disorders, dizziness, weakness, ringing in the ears, unwanted weight loss.




Horny Goat Weed 

This herb will not only help you enhance nitric oxide levels, it also helps increase testosterone as well. In addition, it increases energy and reduces stress - two known passion killers. 


 
Cnidium 

This herb again, helps to increase nitric oxide levels but also improves blood circulation which is another cause of erection problems. You need plenty of blood flowing into the genitals for sex and his herb helps you achieve it.

Another excellent couple of circulatory herbs are outlined below. 

Cistanche Bark, has a reputation for improving blood flow, increasing energy and acting as an anti aging supplement. It is taken to reinforce the vital function of kidneys and the sexual organs and helps to induce laxation, for the treatment of impotence, premature ejaculation in men. 

Ginkgo Biloba improves blood flow and oxygen, while its anti-oxidant action helps protect the blood vessels. Part of its anti-oxidant action helps enhance the half-life of the endothelium relaxation factor; this is a key element in ensuring a stronger, harder erection is obtained through increased blood flow. 

Get them all for Harder Erections !

So there you have it some great sources of nitric oxide which can not only top up levels of this vital compound - but also increase blood flow, testosterone levels and energy which all help to increase libido. 

You can get the above combination in many herbal sex pills and the herbs outlined above, if taken in sufficient quantity, are proven to give you a stronger harder erection, as well as increasing sex drive.  

How  to   buy  these  Herbs :
                                                   
                               There  are  many  herbal  medicines  ,which contain  different  types of  herbs  to maintain  nitric oxide  levels   and gives  harder   erections  ,and most of these natural  enhancement  are  sold online ..

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Nocturnal Ejaculation

Night fall is consider to be a great problem between the age of 18 and 25 and so on.However it could not be consider as disease according to medical point of view but it has seen in many cases that the person who suffers from nightfall may also suffers from premature ejaculation.That's why i think this topic should be discuss seperately.However it is common specially in countries like india and pakistan that nightfall is very harmful for health.Well is has also seen according to my research that it doesn't effect your physical health but it can effect eriction problem ,if  lot of nightfall occurs in a week.Sometimes it occurs 15 to 20 days in a  month.However the major amount of nightfall can be once a week is normal.But if it occurs more then this will also effect eriction problems.But  sometimes it can be 2 times a single day and if it occurs sometimes it is normal.However it should not be considered as disease completely.It depends on our sexual thoughts and our daily habits and the food we intake.However the person who suffers from nightfall and premature ejaculation problem and the penis weakness will be considered as disease.Actually the medical science can't prove that this is disease or not.The main thing is our thoughts .If we always see porn movies and contents,the chances of nightfall will be greator.There are many ways to control the nightfall problem.


1) Swimming is the best exercise to control nightfall .Jogging is also good,however jogging in the night may increase nightfall.


2) kegel exersice is also a good way to control nightfall problem.It is the method in which we practice the pc muscles flow control.This exersice can be done only if we get the right position of pc muscles.For this purpose we stop and release the flow of urine and notice the  right muscle which control the flow and after that we do this exercise without urination.You can search this way of exercise all over the internet and is easily available in detail.This exercise is also helpful in premature ejaculation(sarat-e-inzaal)  problem.


3) If your penis become weak,then the nigtfall problem also occurs.For the penis weakness look at the penis problem section.


4) Nightfall may also occurs having a lot of rest and go away with work and exercise.so the ample of sleepings can also increase the chances of nightfall.


5) After wathching porn films and controlling the masturbation ,the nightfall may also occurs.


6) nightfall is related to premature ejaculation,so if you suffer from premature ejaculation,the nightfall can also occurs ,because both problem have same reason but their faces are different.so you should cure premature ejaculation in order to control nightfall and kegel exercise is the best way to solve both problem.The massage of penis with mustard oil is also good.

How to Control Masturbation Habits


  • Find a hobby! you're not alone, most boys/men when they find themselves alone with nothing to do turn their minds to masturbation.
  • There's nothing wrong with a little masturbation time here and there but if you feel you're doing too much try to occupy your time with other things and people.

Try to avoid anything that will bring you to thinking about it.

Masturbation is very addictive because of the strong sexual sensations that accompany it. Like any addiction, you will need to take baby steps. Go a week in between (or a day if that is too long), then gradually more and more in between the times you masturbate. If stopping, cold turkey, works well for you, try that as well.

Find other things to occupy your time. Idle time is dangerous and your mind will eventually wander to the thing your body craves. Do something else that makes you feel good, like a hot bath or massage.

To stop masturbating keep your hands busy at all times, keep your mind off of sex and other things that make you horny, there is no need to masturbate that much in one day, trust me it feels better waiting for longer.

Don't think of masturbation as an "addiction". It could be an addiction if it takes up an inordinate amount of your day; if it interferes with doing other things; if your genitalia becomes red and sore; if it dominates your thoughts etc...then it could be an "addiction".

Try cutting down on how often you do it at first then progress from there. Get rid of any visual material that you use for masturbation, IE, magazines and films.

  • You could try limiting that activity that encourages it.
  • Stick to reducing the number of occasions.
  • When you feel the urge to masturbate you could immediately busy yourself with a different activity.
  • You could speak to a therapist.
  • You could eliminate things that are very stimulating (sexual movies or literature) among other things.
  • Keeping track of the number of occasions, visualize the frequency and consciously take to task reducing the time you spend self-stimulating.
  • Modifying a behavior takes hard work and time.

I've had trouble with this also but the best thing to do is...
When you're just about to masturbate...

  • Eat
  • Pray
  • Talk to someone
  • Call someone, anything to keep you distracted, but still satisfied.
  • Twidling you're thumbs is good also.
  • Decrease the amount of time/or times you do it a day.

Comments for not stopping:

Masturbation is not a bad thing. It can be very helpful at times. If you are afraid of having sex at a party where there might be intercourse, masturbating beforehand can prevent urges. If you truly want to stop masturbating, all I can say is, avoid pornography and just try to think clean thoughts.

You should not stop masturbating....studies have shown it has harmful effects on the body. If you think you must then concentrate on something else or do something time consuming when the need arises. It's hard to stop but not impossible.

There's no need to stop! Masturbation is not bad, it was never bad. It is rather good as it acts as a safety valve. If you really want to stop, seek an alternative.

Like any activity, as long as you do not do it "to excess" and cause personal injury, why not carry on doing it?

Masturbation is a normal part of life especially in men. Although many women enjoy masturbation, some don't care for it. They aren't basically comfortable with it. If you are constantly masturbating then you have a problem, but, if you occasionally masturbate it's perfectly normal.

Suhagraat Tips And Guidance In Urdu ,Shadi Ki First Night



Suhag Rat For Dulha In Urdu Step - I Rukhsati: 


Rukhsati ke bad ap dulhan ko lekar apne ghar aaye ge. yaha pahle chand rasoom hoge. mukhtalif logo ke yaha mukhtalif rasoom hote hai. ham yaha un rasoom ka zikir nahi karti. 

Enter In Room: aap kamre me dakhil hote hai. bivi bed par eye close kia hua baithi hoti hai. hosakta hai keh ghongat bhi gira hua ho. ap sab se pahle kamre ka door andar se band karte hai. phir door and window ke parda par nazar dalte hai keh yeh proper tareeqa se hai keh nahi. kabhi kabhi manchale aur shareer cousin parda ko thora sirka kar kisi soorakh se kamre mai jhankne ki koshish karte hai. 

Light: dekhe ke zero power ka light hai keh nahi. kio keh 99% pakistani and muslim girl normal light mai sex karne ko tayar nahi hogi. room mai emergency chargeable light aur torch bhi hona chahia. Light Music: ab ap taprecoder per light music laga kar window ke pas rakh de. kio keh ap ke sharir cousin window se kan laga kar ap ki batai sunne ki koshish kare ge. music se ap ki batai bahir nahi jai gi. 

Mu Dekhai: ab ap bivi ko salam kar ke os ke bed par baith jai ge. 99% bivi salam ka jawab dia beghair sar jhukai ankhai band kia hua bed par baithi hoti haia. salam ke jawab ka intezar kia beghair ab ap bivi ka ghughat utha kar os ka face dekhe ge. 99% bivi (even love marriage mai bhi) ka eye close ho ga. is waqt ap ko face dekhne ka mu dekhai (gift) dena hoga. 

Suhaagraat Mu Dekhai Gift: Mu dekhai ka gif aurat ki zindagi ka sab se aham tuhfa hota hai. aurat is gift ki zindagi bhar hifazat karti hai. agar kabhi ghar ka sara saman aur zewar chori ho jai lekin suhagrat mu dekhai ka gift mahfooz rah gia tu aurat bardasht kar leti hai aur kahti hai ke asal qeemti cheez bach gia. jabkeh agar suhag rat gif ke loss hone par use lagta hai ke us ki zindagi hi lut gai. 

Importance Of Suhaagraat Gift: sohag rat ka mudekhai ka gif sohag rat ke sex se ziada important hai. ap gift mai kuch bhi de sakte hai. aurat ko is bat par etraz nahi hota ke ap ne kia dia. lekin mera mashwara hai ke ap gold ki koi jewelry de. kio keh gold ki cheezain kharab nahi hoti aur yeh sari zindagi mahfooz rahti hai. shadi mai jo jewelry deni hai ap os mai se hi kuch acha sa jewelry nikal kar suhagrat gift ke lia alag kar sakte hai. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suhagraat Step II :(Dialogue Of Suhag raat)


One Way Talking: Suhagrat mai sirf ap ne hi bolna hai bivi ne sirf sunna hai. love marriage ho ya arrange marriage ziadah tar bivi Suhag Rat ko listner hoti hai. Balkeh aam dino mai bahut ziadah char char karne wali larki ki tu bolti hi band ho jati hai. ya tu wo ap ki bato ka jawab nahi deti ya phir hoon haan karti hai is se ziada nahi.

lekin ap yeh yad rakhen ke wo na sirf kan se sun rahi hoti hai balke apne poore wajood se sun rahi hoti hai. Suhag rat ko bahut hi ehtiat se dialogue bolna chahia. kio ke ap ke dialogue hi ap ka first impression hai. is rat ap bhale sex mai fail ho jai lekin dialogue mai fail nahi hona hai. sex tu ap 3,4,5 day bhi kar le ge lekin dialogue Suhag Raat ko hi bolna hai. Suhag rat ke dialogue ka supplementary exam nahi hota. Suhag rat ke dialogue ki tayyari one month pahle se kar le. ho sake tu aik paper par likh le takeh koi point chootne na pai (bivi ke samne paper na dekhne lag jana). 

Suhag rat ko ap ne darj zail topic par dialogue bolne hai. Undress hone aur sex karne se pahle dialogue zaroori hai. Dialogue ke beghair ap undress and sex kare ge tu bivi par bahut hi ghalat impression pare ga. koshish kare ke dialogue aik ghanta se ziada na ho kam bhi na ho. dialogue ke bad ap ne undress bhi hona hai aur sex bhi karna hai. is mai bhi kafi time lag jai ga. 

Note: Khial rakhe ke ap ne aj sex ke topic par ya tu bat karni hi nahi hai ya sab se akhir mai karni hai. Dialoge ka doran ap bivi ka hath apne hath mai lekar is tarah dabate rahe jaise koi friend muhabbat aur apnaiat mai dabata hai. dialogue ke doran koi sex harkat nahi karna hai. maslan os ke breast ko hath lagana, kiss karna, ran par hath pherna. dialogue ke doran aisi harkat se ap bivi ki nazar se gir jai ge. 

Tareef Karain Maska Na Lagai: mu dekhai ke bad ap ne bivi ki tareef karni hai. har aurat mai koi na koi khoobi hoti hai. Love marriage mai ap ko pata ho ga ke ap ki bivi mai kia kia khoobia hai. arrange marriage mai bhi pata hota hai. kio keh rishte ke bad jab bhi shadi se pahle larki ko pasand karne ki jo wajah batai jati hai wahi darasal os ki khoobia hoti hai. maslan larki bahut milansar hai, larki khoobsoorat hai, larki ki guftagoo ka andaz bahut achcha hai, larki khana bahut achch pakati hai waghira waghaira. 

misal ke tor par ap ki bivi dekhne mai khoobsoorat nahi hai lekin os ka andaz guftgoo bahut piara hai tu ap ne os ke andaz guftagoo ke tareef karni hai. yeh sachchi tareef hui. agar ap ne kaha ke wo kandan ki sab se khoobsoorat larki hai tu yeh maska aur artificial diologue hua. 

larki maska aur artificial dialogue pasand nahi karti. agar ap yeh kahe ke agar khoobsoorat nahi hai tu kia hua mujhe phir bhi qabool hai. yeh hamdardi ke dialogue hua. ap ne suhag rat mai na tu hamdardi karni hai aur na hi maska lagana hai. bilkul sachi tareef karni hai. fazool bato ka zikir hi nahi karna. 

Bivi Ka Hosla Barhai: Tareef ke bad ap bivi ka hosla barhai ge. woh bahut ziadah dari hui hogi. ap ne apni guftagoo se os ka dar nikalna hai. ap ne ose ihsas dilana hai keh woh ap ki aur ap ki family ke lia bahut hi aham aurat hai. os mai aur ap ke ghar ke deegar afrad mai koi farq nahi. jo ahmiat ghar ke doosre afrad ko hai wahi ahmiat os ki is ghar mai hai. 

ap ose yeh bhi ihsas dilai ke os ke ma bap ap ke ma bap jaise hai. aur os ke bhai bahan ap ke bhai bahan jaise hai. Aj ki rat ap piar se kuch instruction de sakte hai. apne ghar ke kuch asool bata sakte hai. lekin order de kar ya dra dhamka kar koi bat nahi kare ge. 

akhir mai aik bar phir bata doon keh ap ne one way dialogue bolna hai. bivi ya tu jawab nahi de gi ya phir sirf hoon haan karti rahe gi. bivi jawab de ya na de ap ne dialoge har soorat mai bolna hai. ap agar dialoge nahi bole ge tu samajh le ke dialogue ke paper mai fail ho gai. is paper ka supplemenatry exam nahi hota ke ap dobara phir se de de ge. Suhagrat ke dialogue sirf suhag rat ko hi bole jate hai. zahir hai keh ap ki bivi ki ap ke sath suhagrat zindagi mai sirf aik dafa ati hai. lehaza ye na samjhe ke suhag rat ka dialog doosre din bole ge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Suhagraat  Step  III (  Undressing Wife) :


Change of Dress: 
dialogue ke bad aap dress change kare ge. ap dulha aur ap ki wife dulhan ke cultural dress mai hai. iss dress ko change kar ke sleeping dress pehenna hai. 

mana keh ab ap dono mia bivi hai. aur aik doosre ke libas hai. bivi ap ki kheti hai jaise chahe waise istemal kare. os ke bawajood aik sharm o jhajhak bhi hai jo aik lamhe mai khatam nahi ho jata. isi liye ap aur ap ki wife aik doosre ke samne dress change nahi kare ge. ap dress change karne ke lia attach bath room chale jai. agar attach bath room nahi hai tu doosre kamre mai jakar change kare. agar aisa bhi mumkin nahi hai tu kamre mai iss tarah dress change kare ke bevi ki ap par nazar nahi pare. 

ap ki wife attach bath room ki bajai room mai hi dress change kare gi. iss doran ap room mai nahi rahe ge. ya tu room se bahir chale jai ge ya phir attach bath room mai. ya phir mu pher kar is tarah bith jai ge ke bivi nazar nahi aye. ap bivi ko dress change karte huye nahi dekhe ge. iss doran dulhan na sirf dress change kare gi balkeh apni jewelry bhi otare gi. 

After Dress Change: dress change karne ke bad ap dono sleeping dress mai bed par lait jai ge. aur lait kar guftagu karte rahe ge. laite laite ap ne foreplay start karni hai. Foreplay: foreplay ki ibteda ghair jinsi aza se kare ge. yahi ap piar se batai kare ge aur bivi ke body, arm, head waghaira par hath phere ge. jab thori jhajhak khatam hojai to ahista ahista hath ko breast ki taraf le jai ge. isi tarah raan aur raan ke darmian. 

foreplay mai bivi ya tu bilkul bejan lash ki manind hogi ya phir reflexly ap ko foreplay karne se rok rahi hogi. agar roke tu ap ne piar se os ki himmat badhani hai aur batana hai keh ap dono sharai tor par mia bivi hai. ap log aisa kar sakte hai. 

Undressing: suhagrat mai ap dono poora dress nahi otare ge. sirf neeche ka dress otarni hai. doosre lafzon mai youn samjhe keh is tarah undress hona aur rahna hai keh aik doosre ka nanga jism nazar nahi aye. aik bat ka aur khial rahe keh ab bivi ap se light off karne ka kahe gi. balkeh baaz bivi tu zero power bulb bhi off karne ka kahti hai. 

foreplay ke doran koshish kare keh lete hi lete ap bivi ki shalwar otar de. bivi shalwar otarne mai ya tu kuch nahi kahe gi ya phir resist kare gi. ap ne ose phir samjhana hai ke himmat karo ham dono mia bivi hai. is doran ap apni shalwar pahle hi lete lete otar chuke honge. thori der tak ap ne isi halat mai lete lete foreplay karna hai. yani dono ki shalwar nahi hogi jabkeh dono ke opar ka dress hoga yani shirt qameez waghaira. 



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suhagraat Scene Sex Method Article By Kali Zuban Step - IV


sex at suhagrat: sex karne se pahle ap bivi ko sex karne ke qabil banai ge. sex ke qabil banane ke lia foreplay karna hoga. 

foreplay: lete lete foreplay karna hai. foreplay ke ke zaria ap bivi ko jinsi tor par stimulate kare ge. ap jism ke har hesse ko piar se dabai ge sahlai ge. khas ka dono raan ke darmian zer naf hisson aur breast ko hath se sahlai ge. 

Bivi ke stimulate hone ki pahchan: jab ap foreplay kare ge tu ap ki bivi stimulate ho jai gi. stimulate hone se os ka vagina geela hona shuru ho jai ga. vagina ke geela hone ka pata ap ko bhi chal jai ga. ap ka hath jo os ki dono raano ke drmian vagina wale hesse ko sahlaa raha tha, gila ho jai ga. 

ab ap is geele hisa par sahlaate sahlaate apni finger ko bivi ke vagina mai dale ge. is ka do faida hai. jab tak bivi full stimulate nahi hogi ap ki finger os ke vagina mai dakhil nahi ho sake ge. doosra faida ye hoga ke ap ko vagina ki asal location ka andaza ho ga. mubashrat: jab ap ki finger asani se os ke vagina mai andar bahir ho sake tu samajh le ke ab sex (mubashrat) karne ka waqt agia hai. 

ap ko sex kneel down position mai karna hai. ap bivi ke kamar ke neeche aik takia (pillow) rakhe ge. os ki dono raan ko phailai (apart) ge. apne penis par koi lubricant lagai ge. mera mashwarah hai keh zaitoon ka tel (olive oil) lagai. finger ki madad se andaza kare ge ke vagina ka asal soorakh kaha hai. phir apne penis (jo keh bahut ziadah sakht nahi hoga) ke tip ko hath mai pakar ke bivi ki andam nihani (vagina) par ragre ge. 

ap ko mahsoos hoga ke ap ka penis bivi ki andam nihani ke andar jagah bana raha hai. jaise hi ap ko bivi ki andam nihani ke soorakh ka andaza ho ap apne penis ko andar dalne ki koshish kare. koshish se ap penis ko vagina ke thora andar ( one inch) dalne mai kamiayab ho jai ge. abhi ap ka penis parda-e-bakarat rupture karne ke qabil nahi hai. 

jab penis andar chala jai tu ose andar bahir karte rahe. ahista ahista ap ke penis ki sakhti mai izafa hota jai ga aur woh bivi ki andam-e-nahi mai ziada se ziadah andar jane ki koshish kare ga. jab full sakht ho gai tu os ke andar parda-e-bakart ko rupture kane ki salahiat ho jai gi. ap parda-e-bakarat par zor lagai. wo rupture ho jai ga. rupture se bivi ko takleef aur bleeding hogi. lekin andhere (dark) mai ap ko na bivi ki takleef nazar aye gi aur na hi bleeding. 

agar ap ne bivi ko sahi se stimulate kia hai tu bivi ko takleef bahut hi mamooli hogi. sahi se stimulate nahi kia hai tu ho sakta hai keh os ki cheekh nikal jai (yeh cheekh hymen rupture ki wajah se nahi balke dry vagina ki wagah se hogi). ap os waqt tak sex kare ge jab tak ke discharge na ho jai. 

After discharge: discharge hone ke bad aap narm malmal ke kapre se apna aur bivi ka sex part saf kare ge. dono shalwar pehne ge. bivi ko jo hymen rupture se takleef hui hai os par hamdardi ka izhar kare ge. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Suhagraat Ki Story In Hindi For Dulha Step - V (Suhag Raat Kamiab Hone Ka Tareeqa)


First night mai kamiab hone ka tareeqa 90% log first night mai sex karne mai nakam hojate he. wo kon log hote hai aur kio nakam hote hai agar ye bat samajh agai tu first night mai kamyab hone ke imkanat bahut ziadah ho sakte hai. 

1. Blue film dekhne wale: jo log blue film dekhte hai aur samajh te hai keh suhag rat mai isi tarah sex karna hai tu wo first night mai fail hojate hai. blue film mai 1000 watt ka bulb roshan hota hai. yaha par zero power ka bulb. blue film mai director direction de raha hota hai. yaha koi guide karne wala nahi hota. blue film mai girl sex mai active part play kar rahi hoti hai jab ke real sohag rat mai wife passive partner hoti hai. blue film mai sex ki jagah bahut wide hoti hai jabke yaha sirf bed par sex karna hota hai phir iss bed ke ird gird phoolon ki jhalar (decoration) hoti hai jis se ap bed ke andar hi mahdood ho jate hai. 

2. Girl friend aur prostitute se sex karne wale: jin logo ne shadi se pahle girl friend aur prostitute se sex kia hua hota hai woh first night mai nakam hojate hai. kio keh wo over confident hote hai aur samajhte hai keh jaise girl friend aur prostitute se sex kia tha waise hi kar le ge. jab ke suhag rat wali situation girl friend aur prostitute wali situation ka bilkul ulat hota hai. 

3. Apne ap ko na ahal samajhne wale: jo log apne ap ko sex ke qabil nahi samajhte wo bhi pahli night mai kamiab nahi hote. yeh wo log hote hai jo samajhte hai ke on ka penis size chota hai bivi kia kahe ge. masturbation se onka sex power khatam hogia hai. woh tu sirf aik minute mai hi discharge hojai ge. on ka mani patla hai. onhai ehtelama aur mazi (drops) ki shikayat hai. jabke doosri taraf agar koi yeh yaqeen rakhta ho ke masturbation se koi sex power mai kami nahi ati. ehtelam aur drops normal physiological phenomena hai. mani patla ho ya garha dono theek hai. masturbation mai jaldi discharge ka wife ke sath sex se koi taluq nahi. wife se sex ke lia penis size ki koi ahmiat nahi. tu aise logo ke first night sex mai kamiab hone ke imkanat ziadah hote hai. 

4. Suhagrat ka maqsad bivi se sex samajhne wale: jo log samajhte hai ke suhagrat ka matlab sirf bivi se sex karna hai tu wo bhi first night mai nakam ho hojate hai. woh kamre mai dakhil hote hi, ya bivi ko hath lagate hi discharge ho sakte hai (PE). jabkeh wo log jo suhag rat ko sex ki nazar se nahi dekhte balke bivi ko dost jeewansathi ghar ke afrad mai aik haseen izafa samjhte hai wo pahli rat sex karne mai kamiab ho jate hai. 

5. din ke waqt na sone wale: suhagrat aik imtehan hai. yeh imtehan morning ki bajai aadhi rat ko hota hai. jis tarah morning imtehan ke lia rat ko sona lazmi hota hai warna imtehan kharab ho sakta hai. isi tarah is imtehan ke lia din ko sona lazmi hota hai. jo log din ko nahi sote wo bhi is rat mai nakam ho jate hai. lekin jo log din ko ya sham ko kam az kam do ghanta bhi neend kar le tu suhag rat ki kamyabi ke imkanat barh jate hai. agar bivi bhi din ko neend poori karle tu kamiabi ke chances double hojate hai. 

6. bivi se dabne wale: shohar mijazi khuda huta hai. yeh bat bivi tasleem karti hai. mard ko bhi is bat ka ihsas hona chahia keh wo mard hai. aurat se aik darja age. os ke pas bivi se ziadah power hai. bivi age mai taleem mai ya dolat mai shohar se ketni hi ziadah kio na ho shohar ko dabna nahi hai. jo shohar bivi se nafsiati tor par dabe hote hai woh bhi pahli rat mai kamiab nahi hote. isi lia shohar ko age mai bivi se ziadah hona chahia. agar taleem aur dolat mai bhi ziadah ho tu aur bhi achcha hai. 

7. bivi ko darane wale: jo log bivi ya aurat ko mard ke pao ki jooti samajhte hai wo bhi first night mai nakam ho jate hai. wo pahli rat se hi bivi ki insult karna ose darana dhamkana shuru kardete hai. jis ki wajah se bivi ka tension khatam nahi hota. tension wali bivi ka vagina dry hota hai. dry vagina mai sex nahi kia jasakta chahe penis mai ketni hi ziadah sakhti kio na ho. jabkeh jo log piar aur muhabat ke dialog se bivi ka tension kam karte hai. woh pahli night mai kamiab ho jate hai. 

8. vagina ka soorakh dhoondne wale: jo log samajhte hai keh vagina aik aisi nalki hai jo ap ko nazar arahi hogi aur os ka soorakh () jaisa hoga wo log bhi pahle rat ko nakam ho jate hai. kiokeh vagina aik aise tube ki manind hoti hai jis ki deewar apas mai lagi hui hoti hai. aur os ka soorakh () ki bajai ll tarah hoga. aur ap ki samjh mai hi nahi aye ga ke soorakh kaha hai. agar ap ko soorakh dhoondne ka tareeqa nahi pata tu ap ka penis bivi ke vagina se is tarah takrai ga jaise ap deewar se sir takra rahe ho. soorakh dhoondne ka tareeqa Suhagrat for Dulha Step IV mai bataya gia hai. 

9. Dry vagina mai sex karne wale: sex se pahle vagina ka geela hona lazmi hai. jo log vagina ke geela hone se qabl hi sex shuru kar dete hai woh first night mai nakam ho jate hai. dry vagina mai sex namumkin hai. sex ke lia vagina ka mukammal gila hona lazmi hai. agar namukamal geele vagina mai sex kare ge tu ho sakta hai ke kamiab ho jai lekin bivi ko etni ziadah takleef hogi keh os ki cheekh nikal sakti hai. 

10. Bivi ka dar aur khof na nikalne wale: jo log bivi ka dar aur khof nikale beghair sex karte hai woh bhi pahle rat mai kamiab nahi hote. bivi ko os rat yeh dar hota hai ke hymen ke rupture se pata nahi ketni bleeding aur takleef hogi. jab ke baz ko dar hota hai ke agar bleeding nahi hui tu shohar ose non-virgin samjhe ga. ap ko bivi ka khof khatam karna hai (dialogue). jo log bivi ka khof khatam karke sex karte hai os ke kamiab hone ka imkan ziadah hota hai. 

11. Ghalat position ka intekhab karne wale: suhag rat mai kneel down position mai sex kare. jo log koi aur method apnane ki koshish karte hai woh bhi aksar nakam ho jate hai. jabkeh kneel down position mai sex ke kamiab hone ka chance barh jata hai. 

12. sex fun ko asan samajhne wale: jis tarah driving cooking tailoring ya dunia ka koi bhi kam aik din mai seekha nahi jasakta isi tarah sex fun bhi aik din mai seekha nahi jasakta. jo log samajhte hai ke sex fun aik din mai seekha jasakta hai lehaza har soorat mai first night mai kamiab hona hai wo bhi first night mai nakam ho jate hai. jab ke jo log samjhte hai ke yeh bhi doosre fanoon ki tarah aik din mai seekha nahi jasakta aur first day nakam bhi hua jasakta hai wo first night mai kisi na kisi tarah kamiab hojate hai. agar ap ne opar di huyee batai achchi tarah samajh li tu ap ke first night mai kamiab hone ke chance 90% ho chuke hai.

                                           

                            

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


 


Larkiyon Kay liye Suhagraat Ka Tariqa  -  Suhagraat Guidance For Females :


How To Attract Men On  Bed :

Although men are different and have their own fantasies and turn-ons, there are some common things in most men that women should take care of to have a happy intimate relationship.


1. Let him see you


Don’t think that turning off the light all the time will be better for you and that it will always make you feel comfortable. It might turn him off if he is not seeing you. Visuals are important to men so don’t worry if your body is not in the best shape because once you both reached the point that you are in bed he will love whatever he is seeing. Of course that is not a reason for you to stay out of shape. If you are shy from him seeing you then start with some candles. If you are not the shy type then why don’t you take it to the next level and let him see you taking your clothes off slowly while he is watching? Believe me you will not regret it and he will like it a lot.

2. Be heard

Don’t rely on body language only; it is important to express yourself. Tell him you want him; ask him how he feels; tell him when he is doing something you like. Don’t stay silent and do let your facial expressions have some sound effects too. Of course don’t forget to tell him at the end that you enjoyed it and that he was great, even if it was not the best love making experience, this will motivate him for the next time

3. Blow his mind

Use your hands, mouth and all your body parts all over him; touch and pamper every part of him with love and he will reward you back. If he is not enjoying the foreplay then by time he will skip it and in this case you will lose the warm up time that you enjoy. No need to think a lot what you should do and what you shouldn’t, just try everything out and ask him what he liked the most.

4. Be interactive and creative

If you are just lying there waiting for him to do every action and every move then by time love making will be boring and you will not enjoy it at all. Be the one initiating some moves, positions and fantasies. Ask him to join you in the shower and be the one to take off his clothes or give him a massage. There are many ideas out there; don’t be afraid to try some creative things, men will definitely appreciate it.

5. Be a new woman

If you are a new woman every now and then, that’s a guarantee he will always be loyal, loving and caring because he will feel he is married to one woman that is worth a thousand women. Change your looks, hair colour and style, get new outfits and lingerie, change your perfume collection and make up style … be different every now and then. You can also do some role play so that sometimes you play the role of a shy girl, a control woman, a nurse, a dancer, a teacher, a princess. Unleash your imagination and surprise him with a new lady before he gets bored with the old one.
Tip of the week: Some men like to always be in control; ask him gently if he would like to try something new. Make it clear this is because you want more of him and not because you don’t like your time together.

                  

Sexy Latifay , Ganday Latifay Urdu



Suhag rat ko
Dulha:     Jan bolo aaj tumhein chand pe le jaoon ya taaron pe?
Dulhan:   (Sharma ke) Aap ka "Rocket" dekh loon phir faisla karoongi gi!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eik Pathan mele mai gaya.
Wahan do line lagi hui thi. Ek jagah likha tha "Dekhne ke Rs. 20/-"
Dusri jagah likha tha "Chodne ke Rs 10/-"
Pathan chodne ke liye ghus gaya. Usko chodne ke liye bakri di gai.
Pathan ne bakri ko maze se thoka.
Doosre din wo dekhne ki line mai lag gaya. aage walo ko poocha "ye dikhate kia hai?"
Aadmi bola "aaj ka tou pata nai kia dikhayenge...kal tou eik pathan bakri ko chodtey huwe dikhaya tha"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------    
A Fat man saw an ad in newspaper:
"lose 5kg in just one week"

He calls the company & lady says be ready tomorrow at 7am.

The next morning he opens the door & finds a hot babe with just shoes, undergarments & shirt saying:
"if u catch me u can fuck me!" & the girl starts running.

He starts running but doesn't catch her. During the whole week he tried to catch her but couldn't.
However he loses 5 kg.

He then asks for the 10kg program.
Next morning at 6 he opens the door and sees an even hotter babe in shoes, thong & a shirt saying:
"u catch me u fuck me".

He loses 10 kg that week.

So he thought this program is awesome!
Lets try the 25 kg!
So he asked for the 25 kg but the lady said "R u sure?
its really tough".
he said "YES!"
Next day at 6 he opens the door, he finds a negro gay in just underwear saying..
"If I catch u, I will fuck u.."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Larki apne Boyfriend se -
Mene 4 Larko se Sex kiya, to me Randi... Aur tumne 10 Ladkiyo ko kiya, to tum Jawan Mard...
Aisa kyo....?? B0L0....

Larka - Suno...

Jo 'Taala' bahut Chabiyo se khule,
wo kharab "Taala"

...Lekin,

Jis "Chabi" se bahut sare Taale khule,
wo

"MASTER KEY" kahlati hai...


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Larka  dubai se aya tou dada ke liye viagra ki goli gift le kar aaya aur kaha
"agar rat ko kha ke maza aaya tou meray takiye ke nichey 500 rupay rakh dena"
Subha dekha tou 1500 rupay takiye ke nichey paray thay
Larka:  dada jee  maine tou sirf 500 ka kaha tha, laikin ye tou 1500 hain
Dada:   1000 rupay teri daadi ne diye hain!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mirza ghalib ne suhaagraat ko wife ka ghaagra utha kar ek shairr arz kiya:

"Le aai  phir kismat hame kaha pe,

Ye to wahi jagah hai, nikle the galib jahan se... :D =)) =D

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

1 Andhi larki pehli dafa sex karwa rahi thi, jab maza aya tu poocha “yeh neechay kia latak raha hai?” Larka: Yeh tattay hain. Andhi: Yeh Andar nahi dalnay? Larka: nahi ye bahir hi rahtay hain Andhi: “Khayal kerna, andhi mohtaaj ka haq na kha na”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ek ladki Doctor k pass gayi
Mary phuddi main makhi gus gaye hai
Doctor ny kaha k lund main shahed laga k undar dalonga makhi chipak k bahar ajaye gi
Doctor lund andar dal k zor zor sy jhatky marny lagta hai
Ladki: kya kr rahy ho
Doctor: Plan badal gaya hai makhi ko andar hi maronga.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Larki  apni  MOM se :  jab main susu karte hun tu siti ki awaz ati hai par ap ki nahi ati aisa kyun? 
MOM replies : baita siti tu maire bhe bajti thi  lekin tere bap ne baja baja kar kharab kardi.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
3Girls shadi k bad mili
1 girl:Mere wo to fnger bhi dalte hai
2 girl:Mere wo to pora hath hi dal dete hai.
3 girl:Apni taangain phela kar boli,
Zara bahar ana.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aik FAQEER nay ghar k bahir se Awaz lagayi:
Babu ji roti milegi?
Andar se awaz ayi:
“Biwi ghar per nahi hai”
FAQEER:
Main ny Roti laine hai
“phuddi” nahi

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Conductor : bachcay ka full ticket lage ga! 
lady : yeh tu abhi nipple chusta hai! 
Conductor : wo tu is ka baap bhi choosta hai, tu kya uska bhi aadha ticket  loo gi ?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

ek pathan bike rok kar helmit kujha raha tha. ek admi bola helmit to utaro. pathan bola tumhara gand mai kahrish hota hay to tum shalwar utar ta hay kia ?
………………………………………………...................................................................................

AIK LERKA LERKI SAY: MAY KUNVARI LERKIYOO SAY SEX NAHI KERTA   LERKI : VO KIYOO

 LARKA : KYOON K MUJHAY KHOON KHARABA PASAND NAHI HAI
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Eik sardar ki suhag raat thi…Sardar apni bevi kay pechay dalnay laga to wo boli ….na na sardar jee pechay nahi agay sardar bola tumhain kaisay pata hai bevi boli…mera boy friend meray agay dalta tha Sardar bola…acha…par mera boy friend to meray pechay dalta tha…


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-Father & Son At Medical Store,
Baap Ne CONDOM Ka Pack Kharida,
Son:Papa Ye Kia Hy?
Baap: Chohay Marne Ki Dawai,
Son: LOO Bhenchod phudi Men B Chohay?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Choron ne Dairy farm k rakhwalay ko nanga kar k 1 pole se bandh dia or sari Bhensen le gae Subah logon ne aakr usay khola to us ne bhens k bachre ko khoob mara, Logon ne pucha k is men is bezuban ka kya Qasoor?
Woh bola 4 mahine ka ho gaya lekin isko “Thann” or “Lun” ki pehchan nahi.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PAPA : Woh kon si chez hai jis ek charoon taraf baal hotay hain 
SON : papa may bataoo PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo 
SON : may batata hoo ….. AANKH PAPA : ohh haan 
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay
……………………………………………...........................................................................


Suhag RAAt kO Nakami k baad “Pappu Muthal” farmatay hain
HuM jitni Chorh dia karte thay GhusaL Khane mein..
Aaj UtNi b myaser nahi NasaL barhanay mein…
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eik Larki apnay boyfriend ko choot ka baal deti hay aur woh isay sunhar ki dukaan per sonay ka pani charhanay kay liye jata hay..
dosray din woh jub lenay ata hay tau sunhar us say pochta hay kay yeh baal tumko kaunsay babajee nay diya tha.
larka bolta hay yeh tau meri girl friend ki choot ka baal tha..
Sunhar : harami pehlay bata diya hota,,is baal ko humnay glass main pani dal kar dum karwaya tha aur poray ghar walo nay yeh pani pi liya.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Eik bacha jub bhi koi cheez zameen per gir jati tau usay uthanay say pehlay hamesha seenay per hath rakhta tha.
Uski maa ko bara ajeeb laga aur baitay say pocha kay baita tum hemsha seenay per hath rakh kar zameen say cheezain kyun uthatay ho.
Bacha : Meri teacher jub bhi nichay koi cheez gir jati hay tau seenay per hath rakh kar uthati hay.
Maa: Beta woh teacher hay,magar wada karo ainda tum is tarha say nahi uthao gay.
Bacha : Ami eik dafa unho nay seenay per hath nahi rakha tha tau unkay phaipray bahir agaye thay,isliye main seenay per hath rakhta ho.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eik Gaon kay larkay ko kisi larki say muhabbat hogai aur usnay apnay ishq ka izhar us larki say kiya tau larki nay kaha kay jakar mere baap say mera hath mango.
Woh uskay ghar gaya aur baap say rishta manga tau baap nay us kay samnay kuch shirtain rakhi aur sub say pehlay eik bakri laya aur kaha is ko chodo ,larkay nay bakri ko choda,iskay baad bili laya aur usay chodnay ka kaha ,larkay nay us ko bhi chod diya,iskay baad eik kutti laya aur usko bhi chodnay ka kaha,larkay nay usko bhi chod diya.
Akhir main baap nay kaha kay bus tumhara ab akhri imtehan hay ,is khoti ko chod kar batao.
Larka us khoti ko chodnay may lag gaya aur kafi dair tak chodta raha aur phir baap kay aya tau baap nay kaha kay ab main apni beti ka hath deta hoon tumhay.
Larkay nay kaha :abay beti ko chor ,yeh bata kay khoti kitnay main baichay ga?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eik admi darakht say neechay gira aur uski gand phat gayi,aur usko tankay lagwanay kay liye hospital lay jaya gaya.
Nurse tankay lagatay huay "Kitni khuli rakhni hay "
Admi dard say karhtay huay "Jitni app ki hay itni hi rakh do"
Nurse Eik inch aur phar kar chali gayi.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boy to Girl : Kya Gift chahiye.
Girl: Janu koi Esi cheez do jo tum De na sako aur main le na sako.
Larka apni pant utar kar bola "Le Meri Gand mar le ".

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy :Shadi kay baad tum Larkiyan Rukhsati kay waqt roti kyun ho?
Girl : Agar koi paraye ghar Ghar le ja kar teri gand maray tau kya tu Nachay ga.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Bacha Dog sex dekh kar "papa yeh Dog kya kar raha hay"
Papa :Bitch ko kuch Smja raha hay.
Bacha :Aram say bhi tau samja sakta hay,is me bund marne ki kya baat hay.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mureed :Peer sahib apki eik jaib main tasbeeh aur dosri may Condom kyun hota hay 
Peer Sahib :Bacha Bhoot aur Choot ka kisi waqt bhi samna hosakta hay.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Policeman to Girl :Sali dhanda karti hay?
Grl : nahi sahab main tau sales girl hoon, condom ki marketing karti hoon,ab customer try mang lay tau deni parhti hay.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shadi ki pehli raat shohar ne 500 de kar bola "hum nay yeh kaam kabhi free main kiya hi nahi "
Bv 200 wapis day kar boli : humnay 300 se ziada kabhi liye hi nahi "

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jab ap ki Wife Pregnant ho tu us ki sari Sahailiyan os k pait pe hath pher k kehti hein
Congratulations
Laikan koi b aap ka LUN pakar kr nahi kehti  : Well done
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Eik  admi larki chodne gya
usne larki ko nanga kia aur  ulta jhuka kr bola tmhari chot pr eik  b bal nai hay Q?

Larki: Bhosri k chodne aya hy ya “KANGI” krne hai.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aik pathan chor ko pakar kar apne beton se kehta hay is ki gand maro sare try karte hain lakin andar nahe jata tu pathan guse my kehta hay jao churi le kar ao or is ki gand phaar ke andar dalo chor darr ke bola khan sahib aik dafa thok laga ke try kar looooooo.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aik wazeer ko badshah kee murghi par bohot ghussa aya. Badshah ney kaha ke tum isay jaisi mout dogay Main bhe tumhai waisi he mout dunga. Ab wazeer kaise bachai ga? Pata hai wazeer nai kiya kiya. . . Wazeer nai murgi ki gardan apni gand main laikar gand dabadi…
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pathan Apni BIVI Se: . Kiya Hamari Jaan Hum Se Naraz Hai…? . BIVI: Nahi To . . . . 
Pathan: To Phir Hamari Taraf Moonh Ker K Kyun Leti Hui Ho…
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 Bache Jungle me Potty kar rhe the, achanak Sher agya.. 
1st: aby tu dar to nhi rah..? 
2n: Nhi, me nhi darta.. 
1st: To phir apni dho meri Q dho rha hai..?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



BOY: can i kiss u? 
GIRL: where? on vertical or horizental lips? 
BOY: WHAT?
 GIRL: I mean on upper or lower lips? BOY: I DIDN’T GET U.. 
GIRL: CHUTIYE, HONT PE YA CHUT PE…
1 Bacha Ek Larky or Larki ko Sex karte Hue Dekh Leta Hai.
Bacha: Muje Bhi Karne Do Warna Me Aapke Papa Ko Bata Dunga.

Larka: Le Yaar Tu Bhi Karle. 

Bacha Kafi Try Karta Hai,
Par Uska Khara Hi Nahi Hota.

Bacha Chaddi Pehente Hue ..
Maa ki Chut Duniyadari Ki
Jo Kaam Galat Hai Wo Galat Hai.
Main to Bataungaface-smile.png  face-smile-big.png

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aik bandey ko bili ke sath sex kerny ki lat per gai magar zameer ne jab ziada tang kiya tu woh woh aik Molvi sahab ke pass jata hai aur kehta hai ke mujhy koi wazeefa batain ke main yeh adat bad ya bura kam kerna chor don. Mulla jee ne osey wazeefa batiya aur woh dil dil main duhrata yad kerta howa wapis chal diya aur achanak adhey rasty main khiyal aiya ke osey wazeefa achi trha yad nahi howa tha so woh bhool rah ahai. WOh wahin se wapis hu liya aur dobara molvi sahab ke pass puhncha. Derwaza khatkataiya tu Molvi sahab zakhmi halat main namodar hoey chehra aur hath kharonchon se bhery pery they  Os ne masla batiya tu molvi ne kaha abbey wazeefa tu tujhy baad main yad kerwaon ga pehly tu mujhy yeh bata Billi qabo kaisy ki thi.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boy to girl : tumhari dono tangoo kay beech main kiya hay?
Girl : lakeer hay
Girl to boy : tumhari dono tangoo kay beech main kiya hay.
Boy :Lakeer ka Faqeer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy to Dracola :Uncle kiya mani ka eik qatra khoon kay 100 qatro say banta hay?
Dracola : haan bilkul
Boy : Tau randi kay bachay khoon kyun peeta hay,lund choos liya kar.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eik bari umar ka admi eik larki ko chod raha tha ,jub woh choot main dalnay dalnay gaya tau lund phisal kar larki ki gand main chala gaya.
Larki boli : Uncle yeh kiya kar rahay ho ,choot main dalo na ,appka lund meri gand main chala gaya hay.
Old man : Janay do beta , madarchod ki kismat main goo khana hi likha hay.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeh latifa app kay liye hay jo yeh parh raha hay.
Hota kuch yoon hay kay app apnay 4 doston kay sath jungle main jatay hain lakin achanak say kuch jangli log app 4 dosto ko ghair letay hain .
Junglio ka sardar babo shah hota hay jo londay bazz hota hay aur woh app charo dosto say pochta hay kay  "Jaan piyari hay ya gand " 
Pehlay dost say pochta hay tau woh kehta hay mujay jaan piyari hay ,Babo shah hukum deta hay kay iski gand mardo aur janay do .
Is tarha apkay dosray dost kay pass atay hain tau woh bhi yehi kehta hay aur phir teesra bhi yehi kehta hay aur dono ki gand mar kay dono ko bhi chor daitay hain.
Akhir main appki bari ati hain aur app kafi gairat mand insan sabit hotay hain aur kehtay hain kay mujay jaan nahi gand piyari hay,jaan lay lo bhalay.
Babo shah hukum deta hay kay theek hay isko jaan nahi piyari hay ,Sub milkay bari bari isko itna chodo kay yeh mar jaye.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eik pathan 40 din ka chilla kaat raha tha.
39 din eik shetan hazir hogaya aur uskay samnay pora nanga hokar lait gaya.
Pathan nay chilla chor kar uski gand marni shuru kardi aur jub farig hogaya tau shaitaan hans kar bola kay mainay tera chilla kharab kardia.hahaha
Pathan bola :Bhosri walay ,itnay dino say jo chilla kaat raha tha woh teri gand marnay kay liye hi kaat raha tha.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ghar ki Bell baji


BV ne Gown pehan kar jaa k darwaza khola to us k Shohar k dost ne andar aa k shohar ka pucha

BV boli:
Naha rahe hen

Dost:
Men 5000 tum ko Don ga tum apna Gown utaro.

Tungdast BV ne raqam le k Usko apna Badan dikha dia

Dost:
Sex kerne K 6000 or lelo

BV ne 6000 le k ye ijazat b dedi or wo kam kar k chala gaya

Shoher:
Kon tha?

BV:
Aapka dost jahangir tha

Shoher: Us Harami pe to mere 11000 rupay UDHAR hen us ne diye kya?


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Ek larki ko peche se kisi ne ungli di aur chup gaya
peche ek 65 sala baba ta.
LARKI:baba g miscal ap ne ki?
Baba shalwar kol k bola mera to balanc hi khatam hai.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A vilage lady 2Doctor:Mje kuch dino k liye Bacha nahi chaiye.
Dr:To yh lo CONDOM.
Vilage lady:ye pani k sath laina hay ya dodh k sth.
Dr:”Lun”k sath .

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


SUHAG RAAT
3:17am: Start kiss
3:21-open Nighty
3:24-Open Brazr
3:27-Open panty
3:31-Press Boobs
3:39am: ?
?
“EHTILAM”
KHUWAB THA (tharkiyo)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Larkay ka LUND chota or patla tha
Wo apni lover ko andheray main le gaya
or us k haath main pakrha diya
Lover boli.
Sorry Janu main cigrate nahi peeti.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

.TEACHER: BEta yeh bataooo billi kay itnay bachay kaisey hotay hain,,
STUDENT: App kay billi say bhi zada bachay hoon agar aap bhi road pe nangee ghoomain .


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Aik bank mein robbery ho rahi thi. Dako ney sab ko line mein khara kiya hoa thaa aur haath mein aik syringe ley ker cheekh rahat tha keh" sab paisey dey do warna yeh aids ka injection hey, mein laga doon ga".

sab log panic mein jaldi jaldi apney paisey, watches, waghera dey rahey they.

Line mein aik sardar jee bhi kharey they. jab unki bari ayee to unhoon nein barey cool undaaz mein bola, "oye mein nahin darda, toon injection laa dey". Dacu pehley tu confuse hoa, aur phir uss ney sardar jee ko injection laga diya.

Jab dacu bhag giya tosab log bari hairat aur hamdardi key saath sardar jee key gird jamaa ho gey. kissi nein poochaa " sardar ji eh ki kitaa jey? Aids the teeka lawal liya jey?".

Sardar jee phir cool tareekey sey boley, "Haa, Aids? oye mein condom paya hoya wey!" 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AIK DAFA AIK THARKEE LARKAY K SHADEE HO JATEE HAI.WOH ROOZ RAAT KO MAHOOL BANATA HAI.
9 MONTH BAAD BIWI KO DOCTOR K PAASS LAY KAR JATA HAI.DOCTOR KO KEHTA HAI CHEK KARAIN KIYA HAI.
DOCTOR SAID NA BACHEE HAI NA BACHA HAI HAWA HAI.
DOSREE BAAR FIR JATA HAI DOCTOR YEHI KEHTA HAI.
BUT JUB 3RD TYM DOC YEH KEHTA HAI.JWAN HEAT KHA JATA HAI.AUR HAFKEE SAY DICK BAHIR NIKAL KAR KEHTA HAI.DOCTOR SAHIB PANCHOD YEH CHECK KAROO DICK HAI YA AIR PUMP HAI.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
three girls were havng lunch ..
first one said i saw condoms in boss's drawer ...
second one said yes i also saw them and punchered them
third one said HARAMZADI bata to deti 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SARDAR G KO AIK LARKEE PASAND AA JATEE HAI.SARDAR G OOS BACHEE KO PARPOOSE KARTA HAI.
BACHEE KEHTEE HAI.SORRY I M LESBIAN

SARDAR WHAT LESBIAN.
GIRL SAID.I HAVE SEX ONLY WID GALS.
SARDAR G FORRAN OOS KA HATH PAKRTAY HAIN AUR JAWAB DETAY HAIN.OHHHH I M ALSOO LESBIAN

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

aik dafa randi kkhane main chapa per jata hay..dhandha bahat acha chal raha tha...sari gashtiyo ki bhinnot hoti hay..aik amma waha say guzar rahi hoti hain..woh rush dekh ker aik gashti say poochti hay k kya hua..woh ghusse main bolti hay..kuch nahi amma tofiya bat rahi hain...amma bolti hay acha..or line main khari ho jati hay..police wala sab k naam likh raha hota hay...jab woh amma k paas pohochta hay to bolta hay:..amma .. tum bhi.!!!..amma bolti hay: BETA DAANT NAHI HAY TO KYA HUA ..CHOOS TO SAKTI HOON .

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Khusray ney Mardana taqat ka Capsule Khaya tou Uss k andar sy Awaz aai.

Hum Maazrat Khuwah Hein

Aap ke System mein Matlooba Sahoolat Muyasar Nhi.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jealous Husband:Aaj tak tum kitne logo k saath soyi ho?Wife: Such bolon tu sirf aap k sath hi soyi hon baki sabhi k sath sari sari raat jagti thi.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sardar ki Shaadi k 3-Mah bad Bacha huaa.
Sardar-
A Ki hoya?
BV-
Tawdi Shadi Nu Kina Arsa hoyaa?
Sardar-
3-Mahinay
BV-
Meri Shaadi Nu?
Sardar:
3-Mahinay
BV-
Bacha Kinnay Arsay baad hoya?
Sardar:
3-Mahinay
BV-
Total Kinnay hoye?
Sardar-
Ballay Ballay
A tey puray 9 ho gaye
Main aiven Shak kari jaandaan
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------